Building bonds by breaking bread

Published Saturday November 7th, 2009
G3

Many look forward to hearty dinners with close friends during the winter months. Potluck dinners are an easy way to get together.

Potluck meals make food preparation a shared effort. The financial burden of a large dinner party is eliminated. It's also an efficient way of feeding a good number of people.

It is always helpful to have someone co-ordinate the various offerings so as to not end up with a table of all desserts or salads and no main courses. There may even be some who would rather not prepare a dish but would be willing to participate in the washing-up brigade.

Potlucks are a long-standing tradition. They are one of the fundamental building blocks of a healthy community. We need good relationships with our friends and neighbours. Eating together forms a bond that strengthens connections. It is important to seek such opportunities.

How grateful we are when someone comes by with food to feed a group working on a consuming project such as a household move, renovation or new construction. It's a wonderful gift to bring a meal to friends or family.

Potluck meals can vary in style. There can be the simple meal of a sandwich, chips, piece of fruit and a drink or there can be the more elaborate casserole-based dinner, which would include a main course, salad, dessert and a drink. It is this flexibility that enables many to easily participate.

When deciding what to contribute to a potluck meal, there are several factors to consider. The number of people both eating and participating helps determine how much food needs to be prepared. If there are a dozen people contributing food for a group of two dozen people, then probably a dish that would feed six to eight people would be more than ample.

Consider preparing a dish you know you cook well and is already a favourite among friends.

The cost of ingredients is also a factor. A sale at a grocery store may present an opportunity to prepare something special. My advice is to go for it. You'll look like you've made an exceptional effort, a sure sign of respect for your friends.

It is rewarding preparing food for others who appreciate your valuable time. Treat yourself - and your friends or family - by going the extra mile. They'll savour your effort and you'll get to enjoy their praise.

You might consider including new people, families or couples that have just moved to the community, or ask your friends to invite friends of theirs you don't know. Be willing to expand your circle.

Potluck gatherings are probably the least unnerving social gathering there is. It is a way to introduce ourselves and our skills with little judgment - except perhaps on how delicious a dish is. A potluck item is a great way to start a conversation. There may be an opportunity to swap recipes. There really isn't any competition involved, just people being themselves.

Reach out to friends and acquaintances you know are going through difficult times and invite them to interact with a larger group of people. It is amazing how much of a lift this simple gesture can make in someone's life. We don't always need a special occasion to break bread together. Nothing shows respect for others more than in sharing one's food. It reflects, too, the respect we have for ourselves.

Jay Remer is certified by the Protocol School of Washington as a consultant for corporate etiquette and international protocol. He lives in St. Andrews. Email your etiquette questions to jay@etiquetteguy.com and visit his website at www.etiquetteguy.com.

 
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