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Speak Up

I caught the last half of City Slickers on TV the other night, tuning in just in time to hear Jack Palance tell Billy Crystal the secret of life is "one thing."

The movie was cheesier than I remembered; I hadn't seen it in a long time. But Palance's character, Curly, had a few little gems of wisdom and one of them stuck with me.

While riding horseback, cowboy Curly tells Crystal's character, Mitch, who is on a cattle drive vacation with his buddies: "You all come out here at about the same age. Same problems. Spend 50 weeks a year getting knots in your rope. Then you think two weeks up here will untie them for you. None of you get it."

I was on the eve of taking two weeks vacation myself when I heard Curly's insightful words. I have spent the last month waiting for my two weeks off. It's a precious block of time when my family is the only focus.

I know I'm lying to myself when I think 14 days together with my husband and kids will in some way make up for all of the times we aren't together. I know logically that two weeks of face-time doesn't even put a dent into it. But I build it up in my mind anyway.

We'll have pajama mornings, building forts and fending off pirates. We'll stock up on glue and stickers and finally attack those blueprints to build the perfect cardboard castle. We'll read every one of their favourite books. Twice. I'll push them on the swings for as long as they want, not just until I have to go make supper. I'll carve out precious one-on-one time with each of them. We'll engage in great conversations about why the same cruise ship keeps returning to the harbour and whether they want to be paleontologists or pilots when they grow up.

I have all these seemingly simple - attainable - plans to capitalize on quality time with my kids.

The reality is, as any parent knows, it doesn't work that way. You never get around to doing all the things you plan. Two weeks can fly by like two hours. Frankly, there may be days when you're too busy finally cleaning out that closet or painting the deck to spend any real time with your kids. After all, vacations are so rare - you have to try to squeeze in a little quality time with your house, too.

Two weeks just gives you a taste. By the time you fully realize how great it is to spend lots of time with your kids, the vacation is over. So rather than pinning my hopes on Norman Rockwell moments, I'm just going to enjoy being around them.

Maybe I'll hear Jack Palance's voice in my head telling me how two weeks just doesn't cut it. But it's not like I'm taking my kids to a dude ranch and trying to forget about my life, I'm just looking for a little time together. Maybe, like Curly says, I'll get a little closer to figuring out the "one thing" that's the secret to my life. Maybe I already have.

Now who's being cheesy?

Andrea McAuliffe mcauliffe.andrea@telegraphjournal.com is an editor at the Telegraph-Journal and mother of two. Parental Guidance appears every other Saturday in Magazine and addresses important issues as well as the lighter side of parenting.