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Victoria Ahearn

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Here's what's happening today on the small screen:

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Paris Hilton

Saturday

* Shut down your brain for Paris Hilton's My New BFF Marathon, a nine-hour celebration of the superficial. For those who haven't had the pleasure of taking in Hilton's show, the premise involves the celebutante hitting the reality show circuit to find a best friend. (Star)

* Speaking of superficial, tonight's episode of the plastic surgery reality series Dr. 90210 features a mother of two who wants to look like Wonder Woman. (E)

* American comedian Jeff Foxworthy relishes teasing adults who fail miserably on his game show, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? Tonight he gets a dose of his own medicine on the Comedy Central Roast of Jeff Foxworthy. Those taking verbal jabs at the moustached southerner include Larry the Cable Guy, Denis Leary and Dr. Phil. (The Comedy Network)

* Tonight's Trading Spaces is described as an "explosive episode" in which two Hollywood stuntmen make over each other's room. (TLC)

* Those looking for something educational have a new episode of the Canadian investigative journalism series W-Five. (CTV)

* A couple of blond gals search for love with a couple of brunette guys in tonight's film lineup. The first duo - Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal - dance around their inevitable love in the classic 1989 romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally. (W Network)

* Then Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst play coy with each other in the 2005 rom-com Elizabethtown. (W Network)

Sunday

* Britney Spears dishes on her troubled life in Britney: For the Record. The 90-minute documentary is expected to include her candid thoughts on her failed marriage, her head-shaving meltdown and her public bouts of erratic behaviour a year ago. A two-hour countdown special will lead into the doc. (MuchMusic)

* What's the harm in watching a breezy chick flick? A lot, say talking heads in Mr. Right Is Stuck in Traffic. This humourous documentary - airing on a network that loves to broadcast chick flicks - aims to find out whether the fluffy films are "harmless fun or ruthless relationship saboteurs" for those who develop inflated expectations because of them. Interviewees include advice guru Rhona Raskin. (W Network)

* On The Amazing Race, which is netting big ratings in Canada, the teams travel to Moscow for the 10th leg of the globetrotting challenge. (CTV, CBS)

* Gossip Girl gets into the spirit of the season as the privileged posse gears up for the snooty Snowflake Ball. (A)

* Two British grandmothers embark on a global campaign to reform prostitution laws in A Lady's Guide to Brothels on The Passionate Eye. (CBC Newsworld)

* And Discovery Presents has the documentary The Body Machine, which explores the wonders of the human body through computer graphics, live action sequences and expert interviews. (Discovery Channel)

Victoria Ahearn is a syndicated columnist.